Wearing robbin jeans are gay

Trends are a funny thing. The big new trend for this fall is a wide leg jean. I know I started wanting a pair at approximately the moment Santana wore them on Glee. Look for a pair in a light to medium wash that makes a straight line down from the fullest part of your hips and ass.

Avoid pairs that are too wide and look costumey. Wide leg jeans are a distinctly feminine style, but it has one huge advantage taken from menswear: no camel toe. I particularly like a cropped colored jean. Red jeans are a great bet for anyone hesitant to move in to the rainbow.

I love a good pair of jorts. Because they come up higher and usually come down on the leg lower high waisted jean shorts have more girth to them and generally seem more appropriate. For those who are masculine of center, skinny, androgynous, fancy-finish jeans seem to be on their way out.

This includes sturdier fabrics, rust washes, reinforced seems and cargo pockets. It might be, like, every other season or every year, but generally I buy new pants when my old pants fall off of me. Remember that time you had enough money to join a gym? Remember all those times in between?

Your weight may fluctuate, but your pants probably will not.

The Jeans Issue: Queer Fashion Guide For Various Shapes, Sizes, Styles and Gender Expressions

In fact, what will probably happen is that horrifyingly common act of rebellion — crotch holes. Holes in jeans are trendy — sometimes. For instance, if you traveled through the desert for 40 days and emerged with nothing but windswept hair and sandblasted jeans with an innocent hole in the knee.

Or if you were touring the Gillette factory and left with a number of small razor-blade sized holes in your pants. But crotch holes are generally unsightly, embarrassing and usually considered good reason to throw a pair of pants away. Bandannas or generally, any other fabric are cheap, accessible, and give patches in pants an alternative lifestyle twist.

It costs way less money and emotional stress than going out and buying a new pair of pants. And besides, you can cut them off at the knee once summer rolls around again. To solve for any eventuality, I have constructed a specific and highly technical method of great depth to solve any denim-washing-related problem you might ever have ever:.

Normal, but semi-fancy read: washed, embroidered, sequinned, etc denim. Non-fancy denim of the non-delicate and non-sentimental variety. From the type of store you have to dress up to go to. From Costco. Or your ex. It has been less than 25 minutes since I last used hand sanitizer.

I do not know what hand sanitizer is. As far as anyone is concerned, I own and wear only this one pair of pants, and they are the greatest. Several times a week.