Gay anonpublic

As a gay man, I am fascinated by what makes many men seek out opportunities for anonymous sex with other men in public spaces — known as cruising. It is clearly risky on several levels. From offending bystanders and getting into trouble with local law enforcers, not to mention the jeopardy of bumping into someone dangerous, either health-wise or who has gone there specifically to attack gay men; why then, in this age of instant hook-up apps, do men still feel the need to cruise for sex?

And why is there nothing quite like it in the heterosexual world? The study was carried out with a small group of men 57aged 21 to 51, who cruised a park in Turin. Homosexual : acknowledged feelings and attractions for men but did not necessarily gay anonpublic others; sex and identity were viewed as private matters.

Gay : publicly acknowledged feelings and attractions to other men and were often involved in organisations or systems to promote change. Closeted : recognised their feelings towards other men and acknowledged those feelings and attractions to themselves but did not tell many, if anyone else.

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Often avoided social gay anonpublic that might reveal their attractions. Parallel : identified and experienced life as straight when in those situations and contexts, and non-heterosexual when in homosexual settings. The cognitive and emotional differences, if experienced at all, were compartmentalised and the two worlds kept separate.

For the homosexualscruising was specifically about the sex. The draw for them was the easy availability of having sex with another man when they wanted, and once it was done, walking away enabled it to remain private. Sexual desire was definitely a part of who they were but not the entirety of them as human beings.

It did not reflect on work, the way they lived or socialized. For the gay men in the group, those ideas of playing safe were very different and challenged. They felt solidarity in socializing with gay anonpublic openly gay men; their very being was fixed in the acknowledgment of their sexual orientation.

Interactions with other gay men cruising at the park was all part of their social network and community. Often relationships were formed, and cruise meetings arranged between them. Anonymity was not part of the attraction to cruise, but rather a sense of being involved in something specific to the homosexual community.

This is our scene, and this is what we do. The queers were more radical, calling for change even within gay culture. Cruising for them was often the only way of connecting with the gay community and satisfying sexual desire with those who otherwise felt alienated by the ferocity of their outness in the outside world.

Identifying as queer was not just about their sexual desires and feelings, it was the antithesis of heterosexuality and everything that lay between that and them. For queer, gay and homosexual men, coming out is a powerful social and political statement. It gay anonpublic more often liberating than not.

For those in the group who were closetedfear of rejection and abhorrence from others was so intense that complete isolation from the gay community was better and altogether safer. Self-confidence is an issue, and homosexuality plays into that lack of self-knowing.

For these guys, total and assured anonymity was the driver for cruising for sex. They appreciated that what they were doing might be considered gay, but to them it was just sex. It was like going to the shops to buy groceries. There was no correlation to their personas or indeed how they related to other men.

They felt like everybody else — normal — with a sense that sex of any kind was not something that was planned, but rather that it just came about naturally. Although, of course, cruising entails quite a lot of pre-forward-thinking arrangements and planning. Some men led a parallel lifestyle, working and functioning within the heteronormative world by day, while by night, but not always, frequenting gay bars and cruising for sex.