What does bottom mean when gay

This is our definitive guide to terms that have become monocultural — so much so that they have translations in many languages. What might feel like basic information to some is new to others, so welcome. As the terms have expanded and spawned their own variations, they have in many ways grown to allow more wiggle room for gender, orientation, personalization, and humor.

The most rudimentary definition: a top prefers to be in control, often interpreted as preferring to penetratewhile a bottom wants to relinquish some level of control, often interpreted as wanting to be penetrated. Someone who is vers usually finds both positions and power dynamics equally exciting.

Of course, this is an oversimplified explanation of an increasingly nuanced framework for sexual preferences, as every person has their own boundaries, even if they share an identity. Despite what some may think, top, bottom, and vers are not terms exclusively for gay men, but descriptors that can be used for any sexual relationship — even cishet men get the strap sometimes.

What does bottom mean when gay folks top and bottom without penetration, and no categorization or term is ever all-encompassing. Ultimately, top, bottom, and vers are on a spectrum that looks different for everyone. With all that out of the way, here is a basic rundown of what it means to top, bottom, and vers.

Click here to jump to a section: What is a top? A top is often understood as the penetrative partner, or as someone who wants to be in control during sex, though there is also such a thing as submissive tops more on that in a moment. According to Carly S. If you've ever wondered how to deal with performance anxiety while topping, how to top for the first time, or how to make topping hurt less, you've come to the right place.

While the idea that tops are in control during sex is helpful for a general understanding, Ligon explains that standard definitions of topping are insufficient to capture nuanced sexual identities. Ultimately, topping is a spectrum that includes a wide range of sexual identities.

For example, stone tops are usually tops who want to do all the touching and do not want any reciprocal sexual activities. Everybody has different preferencesand the most helpful thing you can do is communicate with your partner. If you want to take control during sex, it's ideal that you discuss a power dynamic preference with your partner ahead of time.

Penetration can be uncomfortable and everyone has different boundaries. Another thing to keep in mind is that there are an infinite number of ways to top. Performance anxiety is perfectly natural, but keep in mind having a dick, getting hard, or being dominant are not required to top.

People tend to say folks who have top energy are loud, confident, or dominant. Sometimes it has little to do with your actions and is a judgment made solely on your appearance. Plenty of people who have top energy actually love to relinquish control in their sex lives and bottom.

Conversely, a bottom is somebody who often, but not always, wants to give away control during sex. Bottoms are often on the receiving end of sex, as opposed to the penetrative partner.

Troye Sivan said he's a 'verse' during sex, not a 'top' or 'bottom.' Here's what the terms mean.

The Ultimate Guide to Bottoming. Bottoming can feel intimidating to first-timers. Here's everything you need to know before you dive in. However, Carly S. As with topping, bottoming exists on a spectrum. Where p ower bottoms like to tell their partners what to do during sex, there are also bratty bottoms who like to belittle and demean their tops during sex by teasing or demanding things from them.